In the Footsteps of Magellan

The Clarks of New Jersey are about to embark and an incredible journey to the other side of the world, to the land where Ferdinand Magellan gained immortality, but lost his life.

Natalie and Theo on their way to Manila, 

via Dubai.

Our trip won't be quite that exciting, but look at these faces, gentle reader. Natalie, 8, and Theodore, 11, are about to spend 24 hours or so up in the air on a United Arab Emirates based Emirates Air jumbo jet. Look closely, and you'll see the high-tech seat back video monitors and television screens that one comes to expect from an oil-rich nation governed by a hereditary monarchy. (I cannot say for sure, but it's my understanding that the TVs broadcast only two channels: the Al Jazeera network; and a continuous loop of Rambo III.)

On Monday night, the entire family will meet again in Manila at the charming Hotel H20, which according to the brochure, "draws its inspiration from water, the elixer of life." I suspect they serve beer in the bar, but again, I cannot say for sure.

That which we call a Rose

Natalie Rose Clark, 7

Recently, Natalie was assigned to write an essay for her second grade class. The topic: how her name came to be "Natalie Rose."

The degree of difficulty connected with the assignment was sky high, largely because not even her parents knew how Natalie received her name. It just kind of happened. Still, she interviewed her mom and dad dutifully. When the answers were unacceptable, such as "it just sounded good," she dug a little deeper, or as you'll see by the excerpts below, she turned to her imagination to fill in the blanks.

• "This is my very own story of how Natalie became my name." (Setting the stage, she's off to a good start.)

• "Suddenly, 'Natalie' popped up in their heads like daises popping up on a spring morning." (Did this actually happen? Let us give our young author the benefit of the doubt.)

• "My middle name Rose, means flower, as simple as that, flower! I like that because I like to keep things simple and not complicated." (Insightful commentary for such a little girl.)

• "To me Natalie means author and poet because that is what I am. Natalie is the only name that can describe me perfectly." (Sigh.)

P.S. Almost two years have passed since our last entry in the Clarks of New Jersey blog. After wasting countless hours on other social media, the editors have decided to resurrect the tradition and speak more intimately to our most important readers.

Also, Happy Anniversary Mimi and Poppy!

Natalie's Haircut

Caption: Kara, left, and the new-look Natalie.

Little Natalie's hair was a topic of debate during her recent weekend with Mimi and Poppy. Mimi took the view that it was in need of gardening and cultivation. Natalie opposed, forcefully, suggesting that the natural look was worthy of respect and development, all the way to her waist.

(Natalie wanted to send a letter to Mimi to thank her for her generosity, but she didn't know the "Zip lock.")

The hair argument ran to a successful conclusion during a recent playdate with Natalie's lifelong friend Kara. The event brought our little Natalie into the home of Kara's grandmother, a respected professional hair dresser who operates from her basement. Natalie sat in the big chair, and the operation commence.

On her new hair style, Natalie said: "I like it because I like it."

Don't you miss you're long hair?

"Yes. I mean no. It was annoying because it kept getting my neck sweaty, every day. Even inside."

A weekend in Milford, Pa.

Theodore learns to train a dragon.

The Clarks of New Jersey enjoyed a wonderful weekend in the Poconos with Grandma and Grandpa -- a.k.a., Mimi and Poppy.

Among the highlights were a flashlight-aided late night (7:15 p.m.) romp around the arbors and terrain of the Moon Valley Falls Estate -- common pleasures to walk abroad and recreate! At night time, Theo comfortably nestled into his bed in the basement with one of his new books purchased at Costco. It's about dragons, or something.

Natalie enjoyed reading, painting and watching television -- Mimi has so many channels! Her comment: "I haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up: an artist or an author."

Mimi and Poppy were generous hosts, and the men enjoyed watching a young "Canelo" Alvarez dismantle his senior welterweight opponent on HBO.

Christmas at the Clarks

caption: You two are like a couple of kids at Christmas. Literally.

A few observations while they are still fresh.

• Christmas is a beloved holiday for all age groups, but none takes it more seriously or joyously than the 5-8 year old set. This means the 2010 Clark Family Christmas is one for the books -- with family reunion in Skillman, N.J., still to come!

• Children ages 5 to 8 can't wait until Dec. 25th. It is best to let them open presents a little bit at a time, a discovery made by K. Warner Clark in the mid 1970s. Just as geothermal tremors help prevent massive earthquakes, so do the release of gifts prevent melt downs on Christmas day. It's 10:16 a.m. -- zero melt downs.

• Theodore was up at 6:50 a.m., opening his Beyblades presents. Did you get anything really cool, Theo? "Yeah, everything," he said. That made Daddy's day.

• Natalie was in the habit of wrapping little objects around the house. On Christmas morning, she made great sport of distributing them to their rightful owners. Daddy opened a miniature Empire State Building, that he bought in 1997, and also an Tagalog-English dictionary.

• Let us not forget the reason for the season! The children watched -- as a special Christmas Eve treat -- the Simpson's Christmas last night at 7 p.m. on Fox. I close with a quote from Bart: "Christmas is the time of year when people of all religions come together and worship Jesus Christ."

• Daddy and Mommy didn't even exchange gifts. What more could we want, really? "Best Christmas ever?" Daddy asked Mommy in the living room with wrapping paper strewn about. Her answer: "Best Christmas ever."

Keeping score at home

On a Saturday morning in the newly designed and furnished back room -- we call it "The Office" -- Natalie her mother and father are watching tenth-ranked Kentucky play North Carolina on the new flat screen Sony. Daddy is in heaven. What can be better than this? His favorite girls are watching a great game come down to the wire, and the picture is so clear that you can look into the bleachers and see who has their wallets in their front pockets.

Daddy notices little 5-year-old Natalie is writing in her notebook. Across the top in big letters, she wrote: "Basketball." Beneath that, she is tracking the score of the game! "65-63, 2 points. 65-65, tied. 65-67, 2 points."

Her stat sheet continues along those lines until Kentucky misses a desperation shot at the buzzer. "73-75, 2 points," she concludes, with a picture of a big basketball at the bottom. (The left margin appeared to be an aborted column intended to track 1-point leads. )

Earlier in the week, a language arts specialist from Metuchen Public Schools reported that Natalie is reading at a sixth grade level. We were proud of our little girl. But her statistical analysis of the UNC UK game took that pride to a new level.

Natalie goes to school

Daddy loves walking little Natalie to school, because she is well-rested, well-fed and brimming with lessons learned. Here is what she told me on our last walk:

"The United States of America is a boiling pot!"

Or is it a melting pot?

"Oh, right. It's a melting pot."

At the entrance to the school, we pause, we hug and she runs in with the other little children of Metuchen, melting away together into a cute little class.

Recently, we left school while another little girl was holding hands with her mother. They engaged us in conversation, but Natalie wasn't interested in chit-chat pleasantries. She stared at the ground, like our shy little girl. I found out the little girl's name is Summer, and she's in Natalie's class. Apparently, Natalie had written Summer a note, which was well received.

I looked at Natalie's face for confirmation. Head down. No expression.

But as soon as little Summer and her guardian disappeared around the corner of the school, Natalie turned excited and blurted: "Daddy, can we have Summer over to our house?!" Then her little mind scanned ahead and entered detail-oriented-planning mode: "We'll ask Mommy how long she can stay."

Later, Natalie writes me a note. "Dear Daddy, You are very nice to me. So draw me a picture any time. Or if you like, I can draw you a picture."

There is a picture at the bottom of her note. Three figures labeled "You," "me" and "Summer."

Natalie's thirst for knowledge

caption: Natalie and friend in downtown Philadelphia.

When the Metuchen library called Mommy and explained that Theo and Natalie won prizes in the raffle drawing, the kids were thrilled. Theodore won a meal at Macaroni Grill, and Natalie won a choice of children's reference books.

She picked "First Encyclopedia" and she has been researching ever since.

By research, I mean she reads a passage and copies it into her notebook. For instance: "Rules of the Rain Forest: 1.) Leave the jungle exatly (sic) the way you found it! Don't take rocks" etc.

Later, Mommy found the following written note:

Natalie's Rules

1. Use words nicely

2. Be nice to mom and Dad

3. Play with friends

4. Do not step on sticks.

This last principle (no. 4) must have been considered questionable or controversial, because it was crossed out and erased partially.

Natalie's research includes astronomy and zoology.

When one of her little friends came to visit, Natalie shouted: "Would you like to see my research?!"

I didn't see how her friend responded, but her enthusiasm must have been very high, for who wouldn't jump at the chance to see little Natalie's research?

Tennis time in Metuchen

Our little Theodore discovered tennis in the summer of 2010. The principles of fair play, friendly competition and graceful technique were ingrained in the young lad by a handful of Metuchen teenager tennis phenoms. The boys did a great job of showing up on time and making all the children feel comfortable.

Tennis lessons, which ran for two weeks from 8:30 a.m. to 9:30 a.m., served as a very nice bonding experience for Theo and his dad. Every morning, the two would ride their bikes together through the shortcuts of old Metuchen and arrive at the park right on time. We'd hang out for a couple of minutes until a teenager would silently wave Theo inside the fence.

Dad would watch for a few minutes of basic instruction, then ride off to work, knowing that Miss Margie and her rolling day care would soon arrive to escort Theo home. It was a nice way to start the day.

Happy Birthday to Rosalie Joyce!

Caption: Mimi, center, motivates everyone -- even Mr. and Mrs. Z, at right.

Here's what little Natalie said in the car over the long weekend: "I miss Mimi."

It came out of nowhere, so we all laughed a little. But it's no laughing matter -- we all love Mimi, and we all can't wait to see her again. And today is the seventh day of the seventh month, so we celebrate Rosalie Joyce's birthday.

Happy Birthday Mimi! The Clarks of New Jersey salute you.

Soon, Mimi will travel with Theo, Michael, Madeline and the Goose to Denver. Oh Great Happiness! Wish we could all go to see Dan, Tedra, Aaron and Elena, the Clarks of Colorado.

Saturday at the beach

Summer days spent enjoying the sights, sounds and smells of Point Pleasant Beach, N.J., have been a part of the Clarks of New Jersey lifestyle since as long as the author can remember -- at least back to 1975.
On July 3, the Clarks returned to the modern marvel of the shore -- the jewell of the Atlantic -- Jenkinson's Boardwalk.
The Nemo ride attracted Natalie. Here's what she said: "I'm not afraid of this ride any more." Check out her enjoyment in this video.
And here's to Aunt Helen. She recently sold her corner parking lot, but she continues to welcome us in her backyard, free of charge. Aunt Helen, the Clarks of New Jersey salute you! And if you ever need to park in Metuchen, we're here for you!

Second grade graduate

This morning at about 9 a.m., my little Theodore is slumped in the living room comfy chair, his legs hanging over one chair arm, his armpit hugging the other. In his hands, some type of Pokemon reference directory, which he is studying quietly.

He appears to be copying the posture and attitude of a teenager. Here he is on his first day of summer break between the second and third grade,

On the carpet, little Danielle and even littler Nathan, two of the star pupils of Miss Margie's Metuchen Day Care, are rolling around the floor. Now they're showing off their dance moves. Silly little lovable children. Theo must appear a giant to these babies!

But when I see him in his Campbell School pictures, he appears so young again, the smallest boy in the class, in need of protection and encouragement. See for yourself what I mean. Look at him here in Mrs. Valera's class on tie-dyed shirt day. How different from the picture of the boy spread out on the living room chair.

Happy Birthday, Theodore

Our little Theodore is turning eight years old this weekend.
Our little Theo will be eight.
It's the most natural thing in the world, isn't it? He was born about eight years ago, and now he'll turn eight. If you look at it that way, it makes sense.
Early this morning, Dad walked into his room. Theo was wearing tiny little short shorts and a pajama T-shirt and was talking calmly to his mother.
"What are you talking about?" Dad asked.
"Theo is turning eight this weekend," said Mom, and Theo looked up at his dad and just smiled. At that moment, I saw a change in him. He was a real boy now. Before, he was just a little boy.
Skinny kid. So well-behaved. At a friend's birthday party when he was six, an adult told all the children to sit down on the grass. Of course, all the kids ran off in all directions, grabbing for toys and for candy. Except Theo. He was sitting down on the grass, awaiting further instructions. Sometimes he is so sweet and trusting, it makes a parent worry. Sensitive. Shy. Artistic. Little explorer of the Club Penguin, and a Pokemon expert.
And now, and eight year old.

Natalie in New York

Caption: The Princess of Central Park

When little Natalie woke up on Monday, April 12, she told her mother: "Today is not a normal day for me."
No, little girl. Today is a very special day. You are going to New York City with Daddy.
And what a day it was. Mr. Sun smiled down on all the busy New Yorkers from the Battery to the Bronx. First stop: Toys R Us Times Square, where we rode a Ferris Wheel and bought a $6 fairy doll. Natalie looked bored on the ride, but her nervous system was humming with electricity during the purchase process. (We also bought Theo a $9 Iron Man toy, and he literally jumped up and down and shouted "goody-goody," upon receipt.)
Several of Daddy's office mates at 425 Park Avenue submitted the views that Natalie was "very cute," or "much changed." These motions were gallantly seconded by her father, who made sinister mental notes about those who were silent on the matter.
In Central Park, the zoo was a hit, except for the temperature in the Rain Forest exhibit. And at the Midtown Restaurant, here's what our waitress said to us: "What'll it be, Sweetie?"
A busy day indeed! Natalie fell fast asleep on the train coming home.

Natalie and the joys of writing

caption: Natalie immersed in literature.

It has been discussed already how our little Natalie has -- to borrow a phrase from Mencken -- entered the larval stages of a bookworm. Yesterday, mysteriously passing over the first book of Tolkein's Lord of the Rings Trilogy, she was reading his "The Two Towers" on the kitchen table, where daddy found it bookmarked when he returned home late from work.
More recently, Natalie has discovered the joys of writing. Here are some samples, which are completely original, and reflective of a precious heart:

Hi. My name is Natalie.
OK. I love you mom
I love everybody
OK I like writing and playing
With the babies I like
Anything in the world
The end and this is really the end.

(The above was typed into mommy's iPod.)

Natalie's Diary
I got it when we were going shopping. This is a special day for me.
I also registered for school.

My diary is purple.
I love my diary.
My favorite color is purple that's why I got a purple diary. I also got a fairy TInke Bell socks and Practice and Learn Workbook.

(Note: spaces have been inserted between the words in most cases.)

Tuesday
I like to write on my diary.
Diarys are fun.
The babies my mom and dad are fun too.
Even boks are fun!
I love Theo and Mommy.
This is funny this not a fairy tale. This is about witches. Is that funny?

The Clarks Ride Again

The Clarks of New Jersey haven't posted an entry in many days. We apologize. Here are some pictures that tell part of the story.
Clockwise from top left: Dad and Theodore in Milford, Pa. Thedore preparing for bed in his room. Natalie reading a "novel." Theo, Margie and Natalie horsing around before the final push to the summit of Mount Sleepy Head.

Our little decorator

Daddy walked into little Natalie's room tonight and saw a variety of pictures taped to her green walls. Upon closer inspection, two of the pictures were calendar pages -- one from December 2010, and one from May 2010. The May calendar was marked to show Theodore's birthday on the 29th, represented in the square with a single balloon icon and her brother's name (look closely above).

On another part of the wall, Natalie taped pictures of her favorite Disney princesses.

A word about her decorating technique. Natalie sticks one long piece of transparent tape to each corner of the picture, extending outward and bisecting each corner of the picture into two 45 degree (roughly) angles. A fifth piece (ostensibly a fail-safe security device) of transparent tape extends vertically from the top of the picture. The technique is clearly illustrated here with Jasmine and Cinderella.

Separately, here is a random quote from Natalie when we watched the coming attractions before "Air Buddies": "I don't like princesses. It's too yucky when they kiss."

Digital Christmas Card

The Clarks of New Jersey (left) extend their warmest Christmas wishes to you, our friends and family, and all of our figurative brothers ad sisters throughout the world!

Christmas, said St. Bartholomew Simpson, is that wonderful time of year when people of all religions come together and worship the little baby Jesus. It's also an appropriate time to send holiday cheer and end-of-year performance evaluations of all members of the immediate family.

I am happy to report that Natalie, 4; Theodore, 7; Margie and Casey all met or exceeded expectations in fiscal 2009!

Natalie Rose: Natalie has proven to be a valuable member of the team and is growing into her role as Day Care helper. She has completed a course in ballet at the Metuchen YMCA, which improved her balance and her playfulness. As her communication skills continue to develop -- she enjoys reading "novels" -- we look forward to seeing her leadership and cooperation skills improve.

Theodore: Theo continues to display creativity and innovation. As CDP Director (castles, dragons and Pokemon), Theo splits time between the Voorhees Place office and Campbell School, where he is in second grade. Management is extremely pleased with Theo's reading ability. He has taking up "Harry Potter," and management soon hopes he will take up "Tarzan of the Apes."

Margie Clark: Margie is to be commended for managing the successful turnaround of Miss Margie's DayCare Inc., a subsidiary of Clarks of New Jersey, which began operating at full capacity in the third quarter of fiscal 2009. With dedication to child-development best practices, Margie is well loved by customers and the community, and especially loved by management.

Casey Clark: Handicap slipped to 11.1 Continues to struggle to get off the tee. Short game remains strong, but needs to rededicate himself and take lessons.

The Wizard of Eyes

The kids loved watching "The Wizard of Oz" for the first time. Natalie referred to the film as "The Wizard of Eyes."

For $30 we enrolled Natalie in ballet class at the Metuchen YMCA. Natalie's first comment was: "I'm going to make new friends."

Natalie has a new adult in her life. Mrs. Young reads stories to children at the Metuchen library, and Natalie loves it. She even writes notes to Mrs. Young. Valerie drives Natalie to the library if Margie has to stay home and watch the little ones.

Natalie carries with her two books. "Anne of Green Gables," is the one she sleeps with. No pictures, just a classic paperback novel. Mom asked her if she wanted a picture book at the library and Natalie said, "No, just novels."

"You're so old, Daddy. That means you're going to die soon," she told her dad.

You'll be sad, right Nat?

"No, because I like Mommy."

But later she says: "I love you, Daddy."

Why?

"I don't know. Just because."

Theo approaches me at 6:30 a.m. "I can't remember if we're supposed to wear our costumes today or tomorrow," he said.

Tomorrow's Saturday, Theo.

"Oh yeah!" and he runs to change into his costume.

The comedic value of opposites

Natalie and her mother were talking about opposites. The opposite of up is down. The opposite of open is closed.

"The opposite of American is Filipino!" Natalie blurted. Her mother had a good laugh over that one.

But the children, aged 4 and 7 years, have had their share of good laughs recently, thanks to a game that Daddy invented. It's called "The gentleman's game."

Here's how it works: Daddy explains how a civilized gentleman behaves in various adult situations -- at the dining table, at the office, on the train. He stands tall. He looks men in the eye. He wipes his mouth gently with a napkin. Thus is the stage set for the next demonstration, which depicts how NOT to behave. This is the segment that gets the audience howling and typically includes monkey faces, slurpy Bronx cheers and wild motioning of the appendages. Scatological references have proven extremely effective.

After one particularly well-executed routine, little Natalie slowly managed to say: "I can't … stop … laughing." Her parents never heard her say that before and wonder where she got it.

Daddy believes that the children's civilized development will benefit from the serious first half of the comedy skit, while suffering little or no harm from the slapstick, anti-social antics.

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The Clarks of New Jersey haven't really gone on vacation this year. Any recommendations?