Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A Slice of Cheesequake


Caption: Natalie, Margie and Theo, on the trail of the goose.

The administrators of this happy online journal have refrained from political commentary because we wish to remain in good favor with our friends and readers, shielding them from our radical views. However, the events of Monday, Feb. 18 (Presidents Day) have forced our hand, and we must broach a sensitive political issue. It was 65 degrees on that day, therefore, we take the position that Al Gore is right about global warming, and his detractors are wrong.

More importantly, the Clarks of New Jersey took advantage of the near record heat by dashing off to Cheesequake State Park, burning ozone-depleting fossil fuel all the way from Exit 130 of the Garden State Parkway to Exit 120.

Maybe you’ve seen the videos at www.dailymotion.com/hlmencken? If not, you can generate the image in your own mind by concentrating on a carefree family frolicking through the pristine woods of the Raritan Valley, discovering moss, mud and a strange one-legged goose perched on a rock in the middle of a lake.

This last discovery seized the curiosity of the children, who launched a barrage of questions. “Why does the goose have one leg, mommy?” Then the relentless follow-up question: “But why?” To this day, the parents have no satisfactory explanation for the missing leg.

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Did you see Al Gore’s movie? And how do YOU think the goose lost his leg?

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Natalie Gets a New Room


Caption: Natalie, left, will sleep in a big girl's bed for the rest of her life.

According to the Home Improvement Research Institute (HIRI), the single most common do-it-yourself home improvement project is the painting of an interior room. The Clarks of New Jersey brought their talents and resources to bear on this activity last weekend, with superb results.

Visitors to 56 Voorhees Place might remember Natalie’s bedroom as a tired, beige affair with a worn-down floor. Things have changed. Today, the walls of light green, (technically, it’s either “alligator smile” or “meadow mist,” I can’t remember) mix sweetly with the white trim. And the professionally sanded floors are a modern marvel.

Moreover, thanks to Mimi, Natalie enjoys her first-ever “big girls bed,” a nice wooden twin, crafted by Appalachian master woodworkers and bought for a song during one of Mimi’s many adventures to points far off.

The transformation of Natalie’s room is profound.

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What color should we use to improve Theo’s bland bedroom?