Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas Kid Stuff

Caption: Theo and Natalie wish you a Merry Christmas.

Christmas is a time of gifts. Our children don’t know it, but they are the source of some pretty good gifts – I was going to say “the greatest gifts,” but let us be honest with each other, dear reader. The greatest gifts are expensive and include major investments such as a new kitchen, or a trip to an expensive golf resort.

Our children – Natalie, 2; and Theodore, 5 – have given us the gift of poetry; they say the funniest things. Keep in mind, the written word can only give an approximation of the actual comments delivered in sugary sing-song voices, full of wonder and childish enthusiasm.

Here are some of those gifts.

• Natalie, walking into Daddy’s office and seeing a Catholic nun on the television, turns to her dad and says: “That’s Cioc Bernice.” Cioc Bernice loves you, right Natalie? “Yeah,” and she smiled.

• Theo, reading over the shoulder of his mother, asks: “Why does this say ‘Sports Thursday?” Because it’s Thursday, and this is the New York Times Sports section. “Is there a Sports Sunday?”

• Natalie, pointing to the brand name “Church” that appears on the toilet in first floor bathroom, asks her mother: “Does this say ‘potty?”

• “Desarations,” said Natalie, pointing to Christmas decorations. No it’s Decorations. Deco. “Deco.” Ray. “Ray.” Shuns. “Shuns.” Now say, decorations. “Desarations.”

• Mom tells Theo she’s not giving plastic toys for Christmas, because of lead paint. “But if it’s from Santa Claus, it won’t have lead,” he responded, faithfully.

• Practicing for a visit to Santa Claus, Natalie sits on her dad’s lap. What’s your name? “Nat.” How old are you? “Three.” What do you want for Christmas? “A present.”

• Theo explained that a dinosaur has 100 bones. Daddy wasn’t so sure. “I’m telling the truth.” Would you ever lie to me? “What’s a LIE-DA-MEE?”

• After learning how the New Jersey Lottery Winning Line BINGO scratch-off card is played, Theo says, “Dad, I’m glad you bought this bingo card.” I’m glad you’re glad, Theo. “I want to go to a store that sells a lot of them, so we can buy them.”

• Do you know where Santa Claus lives, Natalie? “Yeah; New York City.”

To all readers everywhere, The Clarks of New Jersey wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

# # # Reader Participation, Holiday Version # # #

What’s your favorite funny line from a kid? Please share it with us.


ernie said...


asplashofsunshine said...

Oh how we can think of thousands of hilarious statements and phrases from the kids. I'll get back to you. Glad you had such a wonderful Christmas.

Steph said...

Hey, Casey... it's Steph Fort (Rolfsen now!). I love reading your blog and enjoy hearing your tales!! A great kid quote I can think of was when my 4 year old came in and told me she was so mad at her sister last week. I asked her why and she explained that she was being really mean to her and Ava just laughed at her!!

Caseyclark said...

I don't know a Steph Fort. I once knew a "Steffy Weffy," though.

Steph said...

HA!! You, Danny, your mom, and my dad are the only people who can get away with calling me Steffy, or Steffy Weffy!! I love reading your blog. Theo and Natalie are so adorable. I feel like I know them because I read all of your stories about them so faithfully!!