Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Christmas Kid Stuff
Caption: Theo and Natalie wish you a Merry Christmas.
Christmas is a time of gifts. Our children don’t know it, but they are the source of some pretty good gifts – I was going to say “the greatest gifts,” but let us be honest with each other, dear reader. The greatest gifts are expensive and include major investments such as a new kitchen, or a trip to an expensive golf resort.
Our children – Natalie, 2; and Theodore, 5 – have given us the gift of poetry; they say the funniest things. Keep in mind, the written word can only give an approximation of the actual comments delivered in sugary sing-song voices, full of wonder and childish enthusiasm.
Here are some of those gifts.
• Natalie, walking into Daddy’s office and seeing a Catholic nun on the television, turns to her dad and says: “That’s Cioc Bernice.” Cioc Bernice loves you, right Natalie? “Yeah,” and she smiled.
• Theo, reading over the shoulder of his mother, asks: “Why does this say ‘Sports Thursday?” Because it’s Thursday, and this is the New York Times Sports section. “Is there a Sports Sunday?”
• Natalie, pointing to the brand name “Church” that appears on the toilet in first floor bathroom, asks her mother: “Does this say ‘potty?”
• “Desarations,” said Natalie, pointing to Christmas decorations. No it’s Decorations. Deco. “Deco.” Ray. “Ray.” Shuns. “Shuns.” Now say, decorations. “Desarations.”
• Mom tells Theo she’s not giving plastic toys for Christmas, because of lead paint. “But if it’s from Santa Claus, it won’t have lead,” he responded, faithfully.
• Practicing for a visit to Santa Claus, Natalie sits on her dad’s lap. What’s your name? “Nat.” How old are you? “Three.” What do you want for Christmas? “A present.”
• Theo explained that a dinosaur has 100 bones. Daddy wasn’t so sure. “I’m telling the truth.” Would you ever lie to me? “What’s a LIE-DA-MEE?”
• After learning how the New Jersey Lottery Winning Line BINGO scratch-off card is played, Theo says, “Dad, I’m glad you bought this bingo card.” I’m glad you’re glad, Theo. “I want to go to a store that sells a lot of them, so we can buy them.”
• Do you know where Santa Claus lives, Natalie? “Yeah; New York City.”
To all readers everywhere, The Clarks of New Jersey wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
# # # Reader Participation, Holiday Version # # #
What’s your favorite funny line from a kid? Please share it with us.
Posted by Caseyclark at 5:20 AM