Clarks March on Washington

Caption: Young protesters gather outside the White House

Demanding family values, the Clarks of New Jersey marched on Washington this week. The protesters assembled at the Grand Hyatt on H street, stopped briefly in front of the Treasury Building and carried on toward the White House, where heavy police presence and a tall iron gate effectively brought the march to a close.

Police estimated the size of the protest at four.

Among the family's list of demands:

1) To swim at the Hyatt pool before going to bed;
2) To watch the television show involving magicians who give away secrets;
3) Romantic time for Mom and Dad;
4) To visit the Smithsonian and see the dinosaurs; and
5) To leave the Home Improvement Research Institute conference an hour early in order to beat traffic.

The family said it plans to bring a new list of demands directly to the White House next year, if not sooner.